Socialising With A Stutter

My social life started to take off at the age of sixteen, I went out more in the evenings and on the weekend went to pubs and clubs with my friends. This though created a new speech trauma, attempting to order food and drinks.

Vodka, bitter, diet coke to name but a few, I found especially hard to say. At the end of the evening we would sometimes go for a curry, I would order scampi and chips as I found it hard to order curry or balti etc.

My friends were all meeting girls but for me it seemed impossible. I had a lack of confidence and my negative mind said to me "why would a girl want to date someone with a stutter?".

People would say to me "you need to think more positively", however at that stage of my life, I had nothing to be positive about.

On one Thursday evening, aged 16, I had a telephone call from my best friend. He told me that it was his birthday on the Saturday and that he was organising an all day drinking session, and invited me.

I thought it's hard enough going out from seven until eleven, let alone all day, however told him I would go, it was my best friend after all.

This was the first time I had drank alcohol in the daytime and quite quickly became fairly drunk. At around eight o'clock I was talking to everybody in the pub even people who I didn't know.

At one point after ordering a drink I realised that I was speaking fluently without a care in the world or a stutter. This had been the first time I had been drunk and the first time since the age of four I had been fluent! I thought to myself, all of the alcohol I have consumed must have killed my stutter. It had probably been one of the best evenings out I had had, I even met a girl and she gave me her phone number.

The next morning I awoke feeling very ill, lethargic and tired and to my disappointment spoke terribly all day. I also didn't have the courage to phone the girl I had met.

I started to analyze why I had been fluent when I had been drunk, the answer was that the drink had given me a confidence and a care-free attitude that I didn't have when I was sober. It proved to me that the stutter was a psychological problem, if I can speak when I am drunk, I should be able to speak when I am sober. This gave me encouragement that one day when I have more maturity and time, that I will be able to overcome my stutter.

At age 18 my life seemed to improve, I dated my first girlfriend. I will never forget the first night we went out, I was very nervous and felt I was certain to stutter during the evening.

I had met her when I had been drunk and was worried about how she would react when I stuttered. We went to a bar and when we arrived I handed her a five pound note and said "I'm just going to the toilet, I'll have a pint of lager and also order yourself whatever you want, please".

Of course I didn't need the toilet, but she seemed none the wiser.

I came out of the toilet and was relieved to see she had ordered the drinks and had found a table. I had decided I would come clean and tell her about my stutter, which I did, to my surprise she asked me various questions about stuttering and didn't have a problem with it.

She even told me about a personal problem she had and seemed to like the fact I had been truthful. This relationship lasted for sixteen months.

Aged 22, I met a new girlfriend and at this point decided it was about time I ordered my own food and drink etc, and with her help, we started to think of ways to try and overcome the stutter.